User blog:TheAtlanticTempest/P.T. Barnum vs John Oliver/Rap Meanings
Rap Meanings Ladies and gents, this the moment you’ve waited for! (P.T. Barnum quotes the opening line to The Greatest Show from the film of the same name, welcoming the audience to the battle) In a world of charlatans, it's this liberal hack we all deplore! (On his show, Last Week Tonight, John Oliver frequently discusses politics, which Barnum expresses his disgust at) With his show full of biased politics and toilet humour! (Barnum continues accusing Last Week Tonight of being biased and relying on gross, immature humour) Forget about voting Chuck, I rather watch Amy Schumer! (Chuck Schumer is a Democratic Senator, his cousin Amy Schumer being a critically panned comedienne. Barnum states he would rather watch Amy Schumer than) I'll dunk this Daily Showoff! This battle I will surely win it! (Oliver was previously a correspondent on The Daily Show) Like I always said, John Oliver sucking happens every minute! (A misappropiation of Barnum's quote "There's a sucker born every minute") This limey's nothing but an instigator trying to start a riot! (Barnum accuses Oliver of attempting to instigate and divide with his comedy) So acquiesce to Hugh Jackman's man, make like a Ferb and be quiet! (Barnum was played by Hugh Jackman in The Greatest Show. Phineas and Ferb was an animated Disney TV series starring Phineas Flynn and his lanconic stepbrother, Ferb Fletcher.) John Oliver: Our main story tonight: P.T. Barnum! A man you know so little of: (Oliver introduces Barnum in his typical fashion) That you didn't notice that's actually Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov! (In 2019, Oliver covered Turkmen President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov, poking fun at his love of horses and discussing his human right abuses and Gusiness World Records, topping off with making a humungous cake to taunt him. Oliver also performs one of his gags when introducing a obscure country : "___, a country you think so little of, you didn't notice that wasn't ___, this is ____", while showing a highlighted map) Mr Bridgeport Mayor, not a fan of what you're pitching! (Oliver comments that he does not like what Barnum is suggesting to him about being quiet) Before careful of what you're wishing, I'm skilful at deconstructing politicians! (On his show, Oliver frequently criticises politicians for their stupidity and misdeeds) With a Marlon Bundle of disses, on PT the fool, I shall advance! (In a 2018 episode, Oliver covered US Vice President Mike Pence and his homophobia, ending with promoting A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo, ''(a parody of Pence's daughter's ''Marlon Bundo's A Day in the Life of the Vice President)'' a book where Marlon Bundo, the Pence family's pet rabbit, falls in love with another male rabbit named Wesley and marries him. Oliver also references Rocky III's Clubber Lang's immortal quote "I pity the fool!") You'll have to Rewrite the Emmys to stand a sporting chance! (Last Week Tonight has been critically acclaimed, winning two Emmys. Rewrite the Stars is a song from The Greatest Show.) Pin this win like the Olsen twin! I’m more renowned than you’ll ever be! (Throughout Last Week Tonight, Oliver repeatedly claimed that the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were one woman) The only connection weaker than the one between us is the one on AT&T! (Oliver frequently takes light-hearted jabs at telecommunications company AT&T, even after they became his parent company. Oliver claims there is a weak connection between him and Barnum, the latter being inferior) '''P.T. Barnum:' I have The Greatest Show, but yours is just the worst! (Barnum insults Oliver's show) Why is this pioneering showman battling against Vanity Smurf? (Oliver previously starred in The Smurfs and The Smurfs 2) I'm gonna send a flood and drown you out, like Hurricane Maria! (Barnum quotes the opening lines of This is Me, and reference Hurricane Maria, a hurricane which devastated Peurto Rico) You're walking on a lyrical Tightrope against me; do you get the idea? (Barnum tells Oliver that rapping against him is as difficult as walking on a tightrope. Tightrope is also a song in The Greatest Show.) Better find a universe where you were funny, cause this one's isn't right! (Oliver previously interviewed Stephen Hawking, who sarcastically responded "Yes, and also a universe where you are funny" when Oliver asked him if there was a universe where Oliver was smarter than Hawking.) Taste an Englishman's defeat as I put the Last in Last Week Tonight! (Barnum plays on Last Week Tonight's title, saying that he'll make the battle Oliver's last appearance) From the US to Brazil, your predictions plotting off the mark! (Oliver covered the UK, French, US, Mexican and Brazillian elections, warning the public about right-wing figures. In all elections but France's, the right-wing candidate won) This rap will be your Everest, John, and you won't be getting up! (Last Week Tonight discussed Everest in an episode, specifically the dangers of climbing and the dangers faced by sherpas. The beginning of the episode had Oliver noting that Everest had become a metaphor for a challenge. Just as Oliver recanted stories of tourists and sherps dying in their attempts to conquer Everest,) John Oliver: Your 19th century freak show can't match with the fanbase that I bring! (Oliver calls his popularity superior to Barnum's) I threw you right off, Phineas! Long live the king! (Oliver announces that he has taken over Barnum's place as a showman. "Long live the king" is also a quote from The Lion King, a Disney film which remake Oliver starred in as Zazu) Burn you like a coal magnate when I'm upon on the track! (Throughout 2018 and 2019, Oliver was sued by Murray Energy CEO Bob Murray after criticising him in a Last Week Tonight episode. After the lawsuit was dropped, Oliver again criticised Murray on a Last Week Tonight episode and performed a musical number to taunt him.) Your heart's bereft of Charity, like 2016's President-elect! (Barnum was married to Charity Hallett, who died in 1873) With your exploitative methods and your crusade against contraception, (As a Congressman, Barnum sponsored legalisation which prohibited the use of "any drug, medicinal article or instrument for the purpose of preventing conception", and also made it a crime to act as an accessory to the use of contraception. He was also criticised in the present for his mistreatment of his employees.) Your moral compass and rapping skills are both in Perpetual Exemption! (Oliver calls Barnum amoral and a poor rapper. Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption was a satirical church Oliver established in 2015 to ridicule televangelists such as Robert Tilton, Kenneth and Gloria Copeland and Creflo Dollar.) I'm beating you like Chiitan, sending you back inside a coffin! (A 2019 Last Week Tonight episode discussed Susaki's unofficial mascot, "0-year-old fairy baby" otter Chiitan, whose allegedly) I'm on fucking fire like the planet and your circus! Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him! (Another 2019 Last Week Tonight episode on Climate Change starred Bill Nye the Science Guy, who snapped at the end and announced that the planet "is on fucking fire". Barnum's circus, as portrayed in The Greatest Show, burnt down in a fire. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him!") Category:Blog posts